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Renaming the months of the year represents no problem for this marketing strategy guru.

TURKMENISTAN, Nov. 15, 2002. "The President of Turkmenistan wants to re-name the month of January after himself," reports Ananova. The new name for January in Turkmenistan will be Turkmenbashi, or Head of all the Turkmen. That is the official title of President Saparmurat Niyazov.

Not only does Niyazov already have the job of President for life, he's also had cities, airports, and a meteorite named after him, and has arranged for other months of the year to be named after his mother, a poet, and a book that he wrote.

Should the United States adopt such an agenda? Our calendar could be adjusted to include the months Bush, Cheney, Barbara, Ashcroft, and Rumsfeld. And Washington D.C. could be re-named Washington G.W. The probabilities are headless.