Leaping from his bathtub, running naked down the streets of ancient Syracuse and screaming EUREKA!, Archimedes had a great idea. The Greek inventor, engineer and all-around bad-ass, bare-assed scientist had just discovered one of the most famous principles in science … and it all came to him in one instant flash of inspiration.

Now, there aren’t many decent reasons to go streaking through your neighborhood. For Archimedes, a great scientific discovery is obviously one of them. For us, it’s a great name.

Unfortunately many people who come to us looking for a new name seem to think we’re waiting for the same random bolt of lightning that struck Archimedes. If we had a nickel for every time a company tells us they’re waiting for their own eureka moment, for something to “jump out” and “blow me away,” we’d have enough money to bribe the Oxford English Dictionary to have the word permanently deleted from the lexicon.

This desire to be floored by immediate perfection is a completely natural human impulse. People want a name that reflects the brilliance of their idea, and they develop a sort of misplaced hope that immediate gratification and enlightenment is not only possible, but that it will happen to everyone if they wait long enough.

Wait all you want, but that ain’t gonna happen. YOU are not Archimedes. The only thing that struck you in the bathtub was when you dropped the shampoo bottle on your foot. Looking for love at first sight is about as self-defeating in the world of naming as it is in the world of dating. Searching for the right name, just like searching for the right partner, will only give you a baseline of what you’re looking for. But to actually obtain anything close to perfection, you’re going to have to build it.

The problem is, genius doesn’t happen by accident or at random. Archie’s discovery that volume can be measured by water displacement wasn’t some dumb stroke of luck, just as Isaac Newton’s brilliance wasn’t somehow fortuitously knocked into place by a wayward apple. They were products of years of hard work, even harder failures, and slow, tedious, methodical observation. Yet for some reason people still like to believe in fairy tales of happenstance fruit and mathematical bathtubs.

Simply put, naming your business is serious business. It’s not a trivial decision, let alone something you should ever chance to randomness or inexperience.

So what do we provide?

Just as Archimedes had the ability to extract principles from bath water, and as Newton deduced laws from falling matter, we have a trained eye for names. As a botanist is to plants, or a chemist is to the periodic table, or an artist is to her canvas, we are to letters and words. We are the specialized lens that brings your textual treasure hunt into focus, and the checks and balances that protect you from your own misleading subjectivity.

While we would love to present you with a jewel that will excite you enough to run through the streets dressed in your birthday suit, chances are it won’t happen exactly when you want it to. In fact, time should never be the focus at all. It’s about the process and the effort, not the duration. After all, who wants a love of superficiality, of instant gratification, without ever having to work for it? That’s what prostitutes are for. And we don’t offer such cheap intellectual happy endings. But if and when you want true love — however you might define that — you have to be willing to put in some elbow grease.

So take this seriously. Don’t wait for a lightning bolt – MAKE one. Pick out a thinking cap, pull up a chair (or a bathtub) and settle in for some thinking, a little soul-searching and a whole lot of digging. Because your name should mean the world to you. We’re here to make sure it does.