by Danny Altman

I will give you a four hour window to consider Comcast’s new name for its triple play service.

In the first hour, after you wash the dishes and clean out the cat litter, you can ponder why big companies waste their money doing superficial rebrands while their real problems lie untouched.

In the second hour, after you water the plants and clean up the TV room, you can ask yourself if there are any conditions under which one bad name (Comcast) and one really bad name (Xfinity) can cancel each other out.

In the third hour, after you check your stocks and tweak the grocery list, you can consider the xtreme naivete of a company that thinks a poorly crafted pastiche of a “futuristic” name will actually invoke a positive image of the future.

In the fourth hour, after you place that nervous call to Comcast to find out what happened to your Xfinity service technician, formerly known as Larry the Cable Guy, and you check that funny-looking mole on your arm, you can reflect on how, despite the relentless march of technology, some things just never change.

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