The NFL Wouldn’t Rename the Redskins, So We Did

By Ben WeisReading Time: 1 minuteFiled under Naming, Renaming

Does your name offend a substantial number of human beings? Is it an outdated, horrible slang term from the early 19th century? Is it possibly illegal? Does it, by its very nature, reduce that same group of people to a skin tone?

If so, you might be in the market for a name change!

Yes, Redskins, we’re talking to you. In fact, we’re so concerned about your case that we’re suggesting replacements. They’re names that belong in the NFL, honor the past, and allow you to keep your colors.

But their biggest strength is that they aren’t racist.

"Washington Lancers" set over FedEx Field.
"Washington Cavalry" set over a darkened stadium tunnel leading out to the stands.
"Washington Oaks" in bold white letters over a packed football stadium.
"Washington Americans" set over FedEx Field's exterior.
"Washington Armor" in bold type over a dark stadium tunnel leading out to the stands.
"Washington Warbirds" set over a packed NFL stadium.
"Washington Potomacs" set over FedEx Field stadium.
"Washington Talons" set over a dark stadium tunnel leading out to the stands.
"Washington Cannons" in white type over a packed football stadium.