9 Hilarious Amazon Product Reviews

By 100mReading Time: 1 minuteFiled under Branding, Positioning

Amazon listing for Deerbusters "Wolf Urine Lure-32 oz," $31.95, three stars from 17 reviews.
The perfect stocking stuffer.

Product reviews: They can be an endorsement of something extra special, or they can offer an entertaining way to rubberneck at the carnage along the highway of online shopping.

The standard application of the product review is pretty self-evident. It’s the medium by which you can rave about a favorite new juice processor or rant about how your Ansel Adams’ coffee table book is not actually coffee-proof.

Yet these gold star-assignments are merely a fraction of what a good product review is capable of. With the right mixture of wit and WTF, a clever criticism can lambaste a product’s silliness by turning it back in on itself, thereby ripping a vortex in the fabric of the online rating system.

And that’s where it becomes so much more than just a review. That’s when it steps out of the realm of simple likes and dislikes … and into the hallowed halls of satire.

Amazon listing for "Knitting With Dog Hair" with a review titled "With great power comes great responsibilty."
Amazon listing for Defense Technology MK-9 pepper spray, with a satirical five-star review titled "Accept no substitutes when casually repressing students."
Amazon listing for Uranium Ore, $39.95, with a review: "I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty."
Amazon listing for the Wenger 16999 Giant Swiss Army Knife, $999, with a review joking that pulling it from a stone made the writer king of Switzerland.
A one-star Amazon review of "The Bible Cure For Irritable Bowel Syndrome" complaining that grinding up a Bible did not cure the reviewer's IBS.
An Amazon listing for "Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon" with a five-star review headed "Chateau du Lait Blanc, watch out!" written like wine tasting notes.
Amazon listing for "Touched: The Jerry Sandusky Story" with a one-star review titled "Completely misleading title."
Amazon listing for "Fresh Whole Rabbit" with a joke review titled "I know what it's like to be a feral dog."
Amazon listing for a Zenith Defy Xtreme Tourbillon watch, $86,999.99, with a five-star joke review titled "Best Watch Ever!"