Over the years I’ve taken thousands of pictures of names. It doesn’t matter if I’m on vacation or at the drug store, I always keep an eye out. As someone who develops names professionally I guess I’m just curious to see what’s out there. While I’m interested in work that’s professionally done by people who understand and care about naming, I find that I’m usually more interested in the work of amateurs. I love seeing the risks they take, the things they try to get away with, the cultural blind spots (see above). Some of these names end up feeling so honest and striking–feelings that pros need to work hard to instill. Other names are fucking terrible. Both provide entertainment and are worth taking a picture of with my phone.
So what follows is all of the pictures of names I’ve taken so far in 2018. Some of them are blurry, or have bad reflections–probably because I was making someone wait while I doubled-back to grab a quick photo. Below the photos I’ll give my two cents on why the name grabbed my attention. Remember, good or bad, names that grab your attention will always be better than the drab names you don’t even register.
We call these Blank & Blanks. They’re all the rage. Basically you just take two words and put them on either side of an ampersand, and there you have it, you named something. What struck me about this Blank & Blank was what they may or may not be implying with regard to their food. Do they only serve poultry and buffalo meat? If so, I don’t know why that buffalo is smiling.
Arthur Mac’s Tap & Snack is a small bar & restaurant in Oakland under the shadow of the 24 freeway. I love this name. It makes me smile every time. The name is fun to say in this percussive way. It’s also long–5 words! Most of our clients think 5 letters is bordering on too long of a name. They want “short and memorable” when in fact longer names are a lot easier to remember.
I love grocery stores in other countries. So many items that feel familiar and foreign at the same time. So many names. These were some of the highlights from a Chedraui in Tulum. I love the sound of Sponch and Fud–definitely unappealing sounds for food in English but it’s cool to see that there’s some appeal for a Mexican audience. I feel like Tuny would work just as well in the States. Facial Quality is such an interesting name for napkins. Are they good enough to clean your face? Are other napkins not?
I took this crappy photo at the Cancun airport. Of course Guy Fieri has an airport restaurant called Flavortown. Speaking of which, I saw his interview on Hot Ones recently and it turned him into a slightly more sympathetic figure for me.
I took this picture at a gas station on my way home from a long meeting in Mountain View. Instead of an AM/PM this gas station had a myGOODS. I feel like this name is trying to be anonymous–nothing to see here. But it does leave me with the question of whose goods? If they are the owner’s goods, who are they and how am I supposed to know if we like similar goods? If they’re my goods, I have no idea how they got them or how they know what goods I’m looking for. Speaking of which, I was looking for an iced coffee and they didn’t have any so whoever’s goods these are needs to expand their repertoire.
This name is so naïve which is adorable and terrible at the same time. Great for children! Given our nation’s opioid epidemic, you figure whoever created this product might have known about Oxy aka Oxycodone aka Hillbilly Heroin. But if that isn’t enough they’re doubling down on “Bump,” which means snorting, like addicts do with painkillers. Also a lot of heroin is yellow. Also their logo is a nose with arms and legs.
Apparently this is a Star Wars reference that I’m too daft to pick up on. I don’t care. This name is super fun. It’s like the Stingray’s gruff uncle who won’t stop talking about his high school football glory days. This name from Mikkeller paints such a vivid picture in my mind I won’t be forgetting it anytime soon.
This soap is just called Pears. No apostrophe, so it’s not from a soap maker named Pear. It’s just Pears. “Look Young Stay Young” though, m i rite?
These hickory smoked “beef bars” are called BULLY. Are they taken exclusively from male cattle? Maybe? Do they share a name with “bully sticks,” a treat for dogs made from dehydrated bull penis? Absolutely.
This kids haircut place is called Snippety Crickets. The name is fun to say and hard to forget. They even went the extra mile and made some sort of cricket superhero barber wearing a tie and cape and beret. Apparently this cricket takes its job very seriously. The logo might have given me some concern as a child but the name’s great.
With an apostrophe, this name would make plenty of sense–someone named Jean is a real estate agent. Without an apostrophe I’m left to wonder what they’re going for. Are they attempting to convey a can-do, workwear sort of attitude? Do they just really like jeans?
As American as apple pie? As American as baseball? No. As American as mayonnaise. Speaking of which, I had a roommate in college who was so afraid of mayonnaise that when a friend put one of these packets on his pillow he wouldn’t go back into his room until it was removed.
I can just imagine Spencer Kellogg, probably long gone by now, slaving over a boiling vat of inedible linseed oil. Was it improved via boiling or is that unrelated? Either way, very good to know I shouldn’t eat it. Thank you, Spencer.
This place used to be called Powell’s but I guess they got a new owner or something and now they’re called “Zoonie’s.” Aside from dumping the nostalgia in the trash can, this is one of those names they’re going to need to spell every single time. Zuni like the bear? No, Zoonie like loonie with a Z.
The Star on Grand. Great deep-dish pizza. Also the first time I thought about situations where people will be seeing your name backwards. Probably a reasonable concern for barbers or florists or other people with glass storefronts. Sure this place has ЯATƧ but their pizza is so good I don’t really care.